Expert sex and relationship therapist, Dr. B., provides information and advice for the intelligent reader who has watched one too many relationships circle the drain. Whether you have a history of attracting problem relationships or a relationship with problems, you’ll find answers to your relationship questions and solutions to your relationship problems.
Bestowed upon you at birth, specific and unique gifts provide all the potential you need for successful relationships. As you identify your natural gifts, you will easily learn essential relationship skills. My GIFT method illustrates four crucial points necessary in identifying your gifts.
God given, granted by a Higher Power, or created by your genetics, the source of your gifts may be debatable; the fact that you indeed have gifts is not. Regardless of your religious or scientific views, a host of priceless attributes accompanied you as you burst upon the world.
Innate and intrinsic, your naturally occurring gifts define you as a unique, interesting and independent individual. The essence of your identity, your array of gifts is what you bring to a relationship, forming a repertoire of qualities essential to learning relationship skills. As your life unfolds you discover many of your gifts, but the energy of countless others may be buried or blocked by life’s circumstances.
Forever durable and with you always, gifts are assets you carry into any situation you may face over the course of your life. You will always, no matter the situation, have access to these gifts to share with family, friends or romantic partners. Identifying and using your gifts will appreciably increase your odds of having a successful and complete relationship.
Tooting your horn is permissible and encouraged. “Watch me, look at me; see what I can do!” These are phrases we use as toddlers only to be met with: “Don’t brag, keep it too yourself,” and the proverbial “Don’t toot your own horn.” Toddlers are a one-man band, not yet knowing others too have gifts to express. By pre-school we learn others have horns to blow and we find our position in the band, where we play in unison with an occasional solo performance. Knowing life is an orchestra; our parents have the daunting task of shaping our self tooting so we can contribute appropriately to the harmony of life’s symphony. For some of us the shaping of our natural talent of tooting was frequently overdone, causing us to feel embarrassed when receiving a compliment and reluctant to acknowledge our gifts. It's also important to recognize and compliment the gifts of others, especially in intimate relationships. When gifts are not acknowledged ,problems will arrise as in the case of Mark and Irene, who you will meet in the very next post.
Today is Saturday, April 10, 2010. Monday, April 12 ,we'll look at what happens in a relationship where resentment develops over a partner's gifts.
If you are regular follower, you might want to save TOTALLY WIN AT LOVE: Five Hidden Forces to Make it Happen to your tool bar as I don't yet have email notification. I'm enjoying blogging on relationships so much that I plan to post everyother day rather than only weekly. Please make comments or ask questions by clicking on the comments link below each post.